How to say 'No' (without being awkward about it)

I've had lots of practice at saying 'no'.

I'm not just talking about the 'should-we-use-an-exclamation-point-here' questions.

I mean the 'will-you-sponsor-my-gumboot-throwing-team/donate-to-my-aunt's-knee-surgery/speak-at-our-event-for-free' kind.

The types of questions that make some decision makers chuckle uncomfortably, clap their hands once, say they'll look at it and rush for the door, giving me a side eye on their way out that says, 'handle this, will you?'

Because saying 'no' can leave people feeling a bit shit, it's often been my job to deliver the 'no' without breaking anyone's spirit. A task I used to dread but inevitably (and perhaps unfortunately) became quite good at.

Here are a few things I've learnt from being the bearer of bad news.

• Do it quickly – Don't stew on it. Yes, it's uncomfortable, but deliver the 'no' promptly and let people move on with their lives (and focus on other options).

• Do it graciously – Be humble, not weirdly offended, that they've asked for your input. Politeness goes a long way. Thank them for the time they've already put in or for considering your business.

• Be on brand, be human – Adjust your tone appropriately, but don't throw your brand voice to the wind. You can deliver a respectful 'no' without activating corporate robot mode.

• Tell them why (if you can) – Your budget's been allocated. It doesn't align with your current strategy. You have a prior commitment. If you can, provide a genuine reason for the 'no'.

• Leave the door open and/or wish them luck – If it's an opportunity you might say 'yes' to down the track, invite them to contact you at another time or keep the conversation going. If not, wish them luck with their endeavours and say goodbye.

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Need examples?

Hi Marv,

Thanks for considering us as a potential sponsor of the Madeup Manatees. Have you been hiding behind our watercooler? You know we love a good underwater hockey match!

Our sponsorship commitments are already in place for 2025, so unfortunately, we must pass up this opportunity but we'd be happy to revisit this when we review our 2026 sponsorships. Please get in contact in November if this is of interest.

Thanks again and gggooooooo Manatees!

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Hi Marv,

We were sorry to read about your aunt's injured knee. We hope she's feeling better really soon.

While we agree your aunt's health is a very worthy cause, unfortunately, we are not in a position to make a financial contribution. All monetary donations are distributed through our giving program, which supports X, Y and Z.

Thank you for reaching out to us. We wish your aunt all the best and that she has a speedy recovery. 

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As much as it would be wonderful to sponsor every event, donate to every cause, and purchase every advertising package presented to you, the reality is that there is just not enough money, time, or relevance to do ALL the things, ALL the time.

Assess the opportunity. Does it align with your strategic direction, budget and capacity? If not, a 'thanks but no thanks' response is completely fine (just don't ghost them).